Winning and Losing Lessons

Two weeks ago, RJ, together with a classmate, was selected to represent their class in spelling bee. She proudly announced the news to us over dinner. Wow, I thought. Here she is once again making her way to be known in school. So that very same night, I browsed the net for the commonly misspelled words…almost the same scenario when she represented her class in spelling bee when she was still in the first grade. She was the first grade spelling bee champion. Might be the reason why she was somewhat bit worried and asked me what if she does not win this time. I told her to just do her best and enjoy the competition. Win or lose we’ll still be proud of her.

the 12 spelling bee contestants

RJ while listening to the word to be spelled

Sometimes, we, adults, think that our children are too fragile to handle defeat that is why we do our best to help them win even if it means pushing them to their limits. It is like saying to them, “You must win because losing is a hardship no one must face.” Just imagine its impact and the would be consequences to our kids. As parents, we should teach our kids that in each and every competition there is a winner and there are losers. Without a possible winner, a contest or game loses its excitement. On the other hand, losers really should not be overzealous and lose the spirit of sportsmanship in the heat of every competition. Remember that wholesome rivalries can teach our children a good deal about life. Even though games and contests illustrate the importance of drive and determination, they also teach our young children how to lose. And with that they also learn other invaluable lessons such as understanding from mistakes, searching for approaches to improve and discovering the will to try and compete once more.

I am glad that I’ve instilled the values of winning and losing to RJ. She only got 2nd place but still she was smiling all thoughout. No taunting and crying. We are proud of her not just for winning 2nd place but also for being a good sport.