Praising Kids And Its Limitations

praising your kidsParents have been and will always be proud of their kids no matter how small their achievement is. It is actually normal but shouldn’t be over do as too much praising can sometimes do more harm than good.

“Overpraising a child can get her hooked on success and celebration instead of being satisfied by her own accomplishment”, says Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer, author of Praising Boys Well and Praising Girls Well. Thus, it can result to some undesirable behaviors when they grow up and achieving something in the future is no longer because they want a fulfillment but because they just want to receive praises.

Some parents are even using monetary rewards every time their kids achieve something. If they’ll get used to it, they could no longer appreciate a “job well done” as they would always expect money from doing it. They could also resort to cheating for the sake of getting the reward.

Here are some of the situations wherein praises have been causing undesirable behaviors:

  •  Frequently praising the kid after eating vegetables wouldn’t convince them that they are delicious and healthy. If parents aren’t around to praise them, they won’t eat the vegetables no matter what happens.
  •  Too much praising whenever your kid shares could lead to hypocrisy. Teach them that sharing is a good deed and it’s okay if no one is going to praise them after doing it.
  •  Praising them whenever they learn to read a new word doesn’t develop the real desire to learn how to read which is gaining knowledge. Instead they just doing it to frequently hear the praises.

It isn’t actually bad to praise your kids whenever they achieve something great as positive feedback can also become an inspiration to strive more. Just make sure you’re not over doing it because most likely it would backfire. Praise them once in a while so that they won’t feel that are evaluated every now and them. The latter will just create pressure and the essence of learning and living life can no longer be felt.

Image Credit:
David – FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

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14 comments / Add your comment below

  1. true.. i learned a lot from reading this today indeed too much of eveything isn’t good at all. Also tell kids the value of evrything so they know also why they’re doing that. xx

  2. I believe in praising kids can boost up their potential and honor, and this also works for adults. There is no such thing as too much praising, if you are worth it, you just need to teach humility too 🙂 Great post!

  3. Wow! i learned something good things here, i always praised my nephews and my nieces every time they do a good things, anyway thank you for sharing this lovely article.

  4. Yes I really agree with this. A little commendation will bust their confidence to keep on doing good things

  5. I remember my cousin (who is both a parent and teacher) telling me that it’s not good to praise kids too much. There has to be some balance. She also has never tried giving her kids money as a reward for their good deeds/acts.

  6. I agree with this, if you keep on praising you kid then they will do thing for praising sake not for the common good of themselves

  7. im not a mom yet.. being a mom is challenging as you are molding a new life.. child’s attitudes are mostly based from mommies just like this one, everyhting should be in moderation.

  8. as noticed to my niece and nephews, they really are getting more inspired to do better in school when praised… and that’s what i experienced too until now..i guess, not just kids who deserve some praises but also grown ups. 🙂

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