Negotiating the tunnels, dives and dust of a military bootcamp is a monumental and body changing task; a new recruit must be emotional, physically and psychologically resilient at the smallest hours of the morning. Are you overwhelmed yet? Try pregnancy. Your body does a complete 180, your emotions are set to stun and your mind barely grasps the passing of the days, as muscles, skin and tendons stretch to accommodate a living being. You enter the final battle, a tug of war between violent contractions and excruciating expansion, that finally crescendos in the delivery of an angelic, innocent babe, your living heir. Months later, you are under the spell of the halo effect, and the living hell of the last nine months are viewed with an irrational nostalgic fondness. As you are standing in the shower, now adjusted to your new physique and new life norms, a bombshell drops, a painful reminder of the war waged on your body, your hair is falling out.
Now is not the time to skimp on the beauty budget. Do not pay a visit to the half-blind, elderly, has-been-hairdresser down the road. Undoubtedly, you will walk past reflective surfaces and do a double take; but instead of being pleasantly surprised by your hair transformation, you will release a guttural cry in mourning. Don’t make this mistake, get a great haircut, nay, the right haircut. A smashing style on the wrong head is still a bad choice. You might have noticed Jessica Alba sporting an oh-so-hot-right-now long bob, but those voluminous curls are going to bounce right up into a 70s afro. When you know what suits your face shape, hair type and skin tone, any number of optical illusions are possible.
Do what your mother told you; don’t judge a book by its cover. It may look like the ugly cousin of the emu egg, but give this little guy a chance. It’s what’s on the inside that counts, right? In this case, absolutely. Crack open one of these babies and you will find green, creamy flesh (provided you won the avocado lottery, opening it on the single day of its life it is ripe). Smear that goodness on toast, chop it up for a salad or go gung-ho with a spoon and let its hair growing superpowers permeate your (lack of) follicles. The humble little avocado is full of healthy fats and is proven to strengthen hair and promote growth – tuck in!
Let me apologise to you on behalf of the media. You’ve been sold a lie. Each magazine cover, shampoo advertisement, lookbook, billboard and bus wrap is smeared with photo shopped images of celebrities secretly donning hair extensions and wefts. Does this explain why no Youtube tutorial ever perfects Victoria Secret curls? Time for real talk, put down the comb, leave your GHD on 0 degrees and leave the styling goop in the drawer. All that pulling, tugging, gelling and frying is causing your strands to jump ship from your scalp. Like teenagers, the more you try to make them conform, the more they will want to get away from you. If you want a full head of hair, embrace the au naturel style and let your locks run free.
Don’t face this battle on your own. Recruit some professional allies. For more hair rejuvenation solutions, head to www.transitionshair.com.au , or consult your doctor.
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