It is not uncommon for children to go through a stage wherein they become defiant and aggressive. This is part of growing up and asserting their individuality. It is, however, important for parents to handle defiance and aggression in children properly. Mistakes at this point in your children’s lives will affect the way they view such behavior in adulthood. They should understand early on how this kind of behavior should be controlled and channeled to more productive feelings and emotions.
Defiance and aggression in children can manifest in various ways. It could be as simple as grabbing toys or refusing to take a bath. When left unaddressed, this kind of behavior can turn into more serious displays of ill temper and being resentful, spiteful, vindictive, and destructive. Parents of these children might react by going head-on with their children or by thinking that they are bad parents. Hope is not lost especially when you catch this behavior early on. Parents have to understand where the behavior is coming from and why their children are behaving in such a manner.
Jumping right at your child’s face and berating him for his actions does not cut it. What you might not realize is that you are behaving in the same aggressive behavior that you want him to stop. If you do not want to tolerate defiance and aggression in children, you have to set a good example by not behaving the same way in front of your children. You have to be calm as you address the situation. Instead of screaming at your child, tell him that his behavior is unacceptable in a calm but firm manner. Remove your child from the situation and then have a talk with him when he is calmer. Explain why such behavior is not tolerated and present alternative ways to deal with the situation. Help him understand and manage his emotions so he can respond to them in more positive ways. If you feel that you are not seeing any progress, feel free to consult a child therapist or a psychologist for professional help. There are behavioral therapies that can be done to treat serious defiance and aggression in children.
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