Every year, before the regular classes start, parents’ orientation is being conducted in RJ’s school. This is to introduce the new parents to the school resources and programs and to educate them about the school policies and regulations. School admins and teachers also introduce themselves and establish rapports with parents. RJ is with their school for 4 years so I already know (by heart) all their rules and programs that was why I didn’t attend for the last 2 years. But because of the new educational system in the country which is the K12, I decided to attend the orientation this time and I am glad that I did, not just because of the K12 but also because of their anti-bullying campaign. I am glad that RJ’s school is one of those schools that support the Anti-Bullying Act of 2012 H. No.5496 to stop student bullying, harassment and intimidation.
“An act requiring all elementary and secondary schools to adopt policies
to prevent and address the acts of bullying in their institutions.”
What is bullying?
“Bullying is when someone (or a group of people) with more power than you,
repeatedly and intentionally uses negative words and/or actions against you,
which causes you distress and risks your well being.”
According to the 2010 Bullying Statistics in the Philippines…
- 7 out of 10 students in Grades IV to VI and high schools and 4 out of 10 in Grades I to III have experienced violence in school.
- One in 7 students in Kinder through high school is either a bully or has been a victim of bullying.
- One out of 10 students drops out or changes schools because of repeated bullying.
Why do people bully?
- To pretend they are tough.
- To try to get others to like them.
- To hide their own fears.
- They copy others who bully.
- They are unhappy.
- They don’t like who they are.
How can you differentiate bullying from normal peer conflict/mean behavior?
Normal Peer Conflict/Mean Behavior
- Equal power
- Happens occasionally
- Accidental
- Not serious
- Equal emotional reaction
- Not seeking power
- Remorse – will take responsibility
- Effort to solve the problem
Bullying
- Imbalance of power
- Repeated negative actions
- Intentional
- Physical or emotional harm
- Unequal emotional reaction
- Seeking control/material things
- No remorse/blames target
- No effort to solve the problem
Some Contributing Factors associated with Bullying
Family Factors
- Lack of attention and warmth
- Modelling of aggressive behavior at home
- Poor supervision
Individual Factors
- Active, impulsive personality
- Lack of empathy for others
- Craves for attention and approval from others
School
- School climate is perceived as uncaring or different
- Teachers/staff unaware or unclear of bullying definitions or how to respond
How do you know that your child is being bullied?
Emotional Signs
- Changes in sleep pattern
- Changes in eating patterns
- Frequent tears of anger
- Mood swings
Physical Signs
- Unexplained bruises, cuts scratches
- Comes home with missing or damaged belongings
- Comes home hungry
Behavioral Signs
- Feels ill in the morning
- Becomes withdrawn or starts stammering
- Becomes aggressive and unreasonable
- Refuses to talk about what is wrong
- Begins to target siblings
School Signs
- Doesn’t want to go to school
- Changes route to school
- Frightened of walking to school
- Grades begin to fall
- Often alone
- Appears insecure
How to avoid future bullying?
- Do not let your child bring expensive things or much money to school
- Don’t allow your child to hang out with friends for long hours
- Don’t let your child stay in unsupervised areas
- Tell your child not to walk alone and to avoid places where bullying occurs
I myself get bullied when I was in grade school. Maybe because I was given the authority by our teacher to check on my classmate’s behavior when she goes out.. Gladly I was able to handle him. I believe there are serious bullying happening in every school. Parents should be aware of this and they should consider knowing this especially that last part on how to avoid future bullying! Thanks!
thanks for sharing..
During grade school I’m also a victim of bullying. It made me brave too for the positive side of it but it is still an emotional stress at a very Young age. ;(
Bullies are weak because they need to put down others just to feel strong.
I don’t know if it’s called bullying if you’re sort of treated like an outcast in your batch. There was a time in high school where me and my friends don’t “fit” in the standards of our peers since we’re into anime and japanese culture (which they don’t appreciate kasi).
I pray for those children that gets bullied and does the bullying. They need proper guidance and love and affection.
Bullying in school is more widespread that we would like to believe. Sometimes, it only takes words to bring down the spirit of a target child.
i wish there was something like this when i was younger 🙁 but i think i wouldn’t be how i am with my kids if i didn’t go through that. it’s made me more sensitive to other people and their feelings and more conscious about being a bully myself. remember, we can also be aggressors! 🙂
At some point in our lives, we either become the bully or the one being bullied — I, unfortunately had to experience both during my elementary years. But it is through the guidance of my family that I was able to overcome such a bad stage in my younger years. Also, kids nowadays should be disciplined and be taught how to respect their peers, as we’re trying to avoid incidents like kids committing suicide just because he/she is being bullied in school. :/ Thank God there’s an anti-bullying act for it now.
I can relate because I was bullied in grade school. It came to a point where I actually stopped going to school for a year. Kudos to your son’s school for taking this issue seriously because it does happen. Bullying is more common among children and teens because they can be cruel with one another, especially in places where adult supervision is not vigilant (playgrounds, corridors, restrooms, and outside school premises).
To be honest, bullying does not only happened to kids because it can also be experienced by adults.
i have been experiencing this bullying thing even here in our condo. no wonder the kids here are like that because their parents are too busy working and don’t mind their kids anymore leaving them with the maids.
Bullying is a serious issue that should be handled by parents and educators to avoid detrimental effects on a child’s emotional well-being.
this would be very helpful especially to the parents.
thanks for sharing this
great post! I did not know there is now an anti-bullying law. I have a 21 yr old son who was bullied and teased in grade school and high school but he was able to stop it (he became a blackbelt in taekwondo..heheh) and now I have a 4 year old daughter. Thanks for sharing the tips here.
Great takes and facts about bullying here. If I may add, one of the major reasons why one bullies someone is due to the cause that he/she has had an experience of being bullied, too.
It’s good that I haven’t been bullied when I was young. Haha. These are good information. Parents should be able to guide their kids well to prevent these from happening. Thanks for sharing!
One of the many reasons we chose the school we have our girls here in the Netherlands is reading about their active program about prevention of bullying in school.
This was very important for us because we take it seriously, that “school is the second home” of our children. If they will have reasons to fear, and not feel well at school then it’s not going to contribute to their growth.
It heartening to know that the Philippines is taking active part in preventing bullying at school. A great start for children, in my opinion, not only to feel safe and nurtured at school, but to learn to respect others and not exert powers over them.