Hubby and I as Parents

While I was pregnant I read many parenting books and magazines for the tips, advices and ideas. I was hoping to be knowledgeable and capable enough as parent before RJ arrives. But being a parent is not as easy as I thought. Yes, I got tips and ideas but it’s not that easy to apply in real life. I think what guided me the most is my motherly instinct.

RJ is a good girl. Aside from being sick sometimes, we didn’t encounter any problem with her. She’s very obedient, respectful and she’s doing great in school. May be this is because we talk to her ever since. But a child as she is, she has these little mistakes sometimes that need to be corrected. Between me and Rhonnel, it is me who punishes RJ the most like giving a light whip on the butt or grounding her for a day or two. I see to it that she can’t go out and play outside whenever she did something wrong. But then Rhonnel was always on the rescue and did the bargaining with me asking if I can lower my sentence in just a day. When I grounded RJ for a week, he asked me to make it just 3 days…sigh. Then we will talk to her after that it is for her own good and profit and she understands. Rhonnel seldom gets mad so I don’t understand why RJ is more afraid of him. She always does things with enthusiasm if it’s for her dad but whenever I ask her to do something I hear “Wait po” most of the time…sigh again.

But then it is me who always give in to RJ’s craves and desires especially on toys that I didn’t get any chance to have when I was a child. She will do something for us though in exchange of these material things like perfect quizzes and high grades. We do not mean and don’t have any intensions of spoiling her. We just want her to feel that we love her.

It’s an advantage that all RJ’s playmates are 3-4 years older than her. This made her to be a little mature than other children of her age. Now that she’s a big girl, the time of speaking in scope of her understanding is finally over. We can talk to her about sensitive issues and can be honest with her. It’s my job to explain to her about girly things like monthly period, pregnancy, etc. It’s Rhonnel’s job to answer queries about sports, technologies, etc. Whenever she needs something, she’ll look for me and when she needs playmate on computer games or other gadgets, she’ll ask for Rhonnel. She does know our expertise…ehehe!

If RJ is sick, we both stay up and check on her but if I am too sleepy and can’t hold on any longer, Rhonnel asks me to sleep and he’s the one who looks after RJ. Yes, we practice co-parenting and shared parenting responsibilities. We both don’t believe that Moms should be the primary caregivers and do the parenting duties alone.

Singapore – The Fine City

A friend who just came from Singapore gave Rhonnel a keychain as pasalubong. On the back of the keychain’s carton are the fines on Singapore. So this explains why Singapore is hailed as the “Fine City”.  There’s a list of do’s and don’ts and their corresponding fines.

There are things that are considered normal in our country but in Singapore they are illegal. So if you have plans in going to Singapore, I suggest you review their laws first for you could be fined immensely for any minor wrong doing, such as chewing gums, spitting and eating or drinking in trains and buses. Wonder what these laws are and how much are the fine?

No flammable liquid gas – $5000
No littering – $1000
No eating or drinking – $ 500
No pets/ No animals – $500
No urinating in lifts – $500
No chewing gum – $1000
No smoking – $1000
No spitting – $1000

Singapore may be has weird and outrageous laws but these laws are what make Singapore one of the cleanest, finest and safest countries in the world. Should I wish that we have the same laws here?

My Very Painful Delivery

I want to share with you my experiences when I gave birth to RJ…my very painful delivery.

I had spotting and my cervix was 1 cm. dilated for four days before RJ was born. When I noticed the spotting on the 1st day, I immediately went to my OB-Gyne. I know I will be giving birth soon though I didn’t feel any contractions. My OB-Gyne said, I will be giving birth in a day or two because my cervix is only 1 cm. dilated so she can’t have me admitted yet. When I went back to her clinic on the 4th day, nothing changed. My cervix is still 1cm. dilated. She didn’t allow me to go home and had me admitted immediately for the fetal monitoring because I was a day overdue.

I was admitted to the hospital on July 22, my MIL’s birthday. My MIL was so excited because she was hoping that RJ would have the same birthday as her. The sad thing is my cervix dilation stopped at 4cm. The nurses administered an enema, broke my bag of water and induced me, hoping for my cervix to reach at least 8cm. If you are a Mom you know how hard it is to suffer from labor pains. Well, it is nothing compared to the pains of induced labor. That was the worst physical pain I had in my entire life. So after 25 long hours of super painful induced labor, my OB-GYN decided to conduct a caesarean section. “@#$%^&*!” That’s what I wanted to tell her. She should have done it earlier, don’t you think? I could hardly breath so I was hooked on an oxygen. I was drained, can’t move and talk that time. When they curled me for an epidural anesthesia, I didn’t feel any pain maybe because of what I went through. I even peed on my bed. So I told myself that would be my first and last pregnancy.

But still, I was thankful to the very accommodating staffs who took care of me while I was on the labor room. They gave me sponge bath, massage and brushed my teeth to somehow ease my discomfort. They also allowed hubby in the labor room (which is prohibited) for few minutes so we could exchange sweet nothings. He asked me what I wanted him to do though deep inside he knew he can’t do anything to ease my pain. His presence helped me to be strong and fight though.

Finally, on July 23 at exactly 12:35 p.m., RJ was delivered via C/S. She was very healthy at 3.35kgs. (7.37 lbs.) and 32 cms. long.


I cried when I first saw her and immediately counted her fingers and toes. I saw her red  lips and I heard her loud cry. It’s worth all the pain. All the pains were gone upon seeing her.

We  stayed in the hospital for three days because they were conducting new born screening and other tests on RJ.

Proud parents waiting for RJ to be roomed-in.

Rhonnel and I are lucky because my Mom and my MIL were there to assist us. I had no milk so they helped and taught me how to have breast milk and the proper way of breast feeding.

With the loving grandparents.

Well, that was almost 8 eight years ago. If I am to ask right now, I am very much willing to experience that pain again for a wonderful baby boy. Too sad that I can’t have another one baby.